sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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