if you like me you must not know who I am
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
