Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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