RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he just fucked me for my cheese..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Drunk is a universal language darling
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
