i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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