; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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