I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am naked and annoyed.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
