you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
