I puked a lego.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
