It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
