Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
