btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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