yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need to stop coming to work sober
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
