Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Vodka?
Forever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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