my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
