I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
