I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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