Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
