k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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