So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
