I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize