hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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