Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
