I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my phone needs a breathalizer
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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