on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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