You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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