I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
