Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she pinky promised me she was 18
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
