He told me they were just razor bumps!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
