Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
