one might say we're banned from that church
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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