does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
