hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
