Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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