she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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