I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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