my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i think i have two assholes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
