i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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