Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
