I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
