remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Shame - the story of my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
