help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
