you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
