Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
