just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
