i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
