she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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