Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
