Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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