Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
