the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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