God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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