butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
