...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
