you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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