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The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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