I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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