The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
