YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
