ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
